Work with Me
Work that meets you beneath the pattern.
“Where awareness, self-compassion, and personal responsibility meet.”
Individual Therapy Services
Burnout
For when capable stopped being sustainable and rest stopped working.
Read more →Relationship Issues
The same dynamic, different people. We work on it while it’s happening.
Read more →High Achievement
Success that quietly costs too much, and what enough might feel like.
Read more →I also offer couples therapy for partners caught in the same painful conversation who want to understand the deeper dynamic underneath. Read more below.
You’ve built a life that runs on full. The problem is, it never stops running.
Somewhere along the way, the drive that built everything started to feel less like ambition and more like something you can’t turn off. You’re burned out because you’ve been operating at a level that was never meant to be permanent, and you haven’t stopped long enough to notice what it’s costing you. Often, underneath the drive, it’s high-functioning anxiety, a nervous system stuck in overdrive that achievement never quiets.
This is for you if:
- You’re exhausted in a way you can’t explain to people who don’t live like you do.
- You’ve tried rest, vacation, even previous therapy, and nothing has actually shifted the pattern.
- You feel guilty the moment you slow down, as if rest is something you have to earn.
- You want to understand what’s underneath it, and change it, not just manage it.
What we work on
This work isn’t about learning to relax. It’s about understanding why you can’t, and working with the part of you that won’t let you.
We look at what the over-functioning is protecting. We work with your nervous system directly, because burnout isn’t just a mindset problem, it’s a physiological pattern that insight alone won’t touch. And we build a different relationship with your own drive, one where it’s working for you instead of running you.
You understand the dynamic. You just can’t seem to stop it.
Maybe you pull away before anyone can get too close. Maybe you over-function and people please until there’s nothing left. Maybe you control, accommodate, explode, or go silent, and you can see yourself doing it but can’t seem to stop. These aren’t personality flaws. They’re nervous system strategies.
And they don’t change just because you understand them. Relational patterns live in the body’s learned responses, in the automatic moves you make before you’ve even registered that you’re making them. Insight is the beginning of the work, not the end of it.
This is for you if:
- You shut down, blow up, over-function, or disappear, and you’re ready to stop feeling powerless.
- You’re tired of arriving at the same place with different people.
- You can see what you’re doing in relationships but can’t seem to stop doing it.
- You’re willing to look at your own role honestly, even when that’s uncomfortable.
What we work on
We start by getting specific about what’s actually happening, not just the story around it, but the mechanics: what triggers it, how it moves through your body, what it’s protecting, and where it came from.
Much of this work goes back to the beginning, to early attachment experiences, family of origin dynamics, and the relational moves you learned long before you had words for them. From there we separate what’s actually yours from what was handed to you by family, culture, or religion. You decide what stays and what doesn’t.
“Regulation isn’t a feeling you wait for.
It’s a skill you practice.”
You’ve built the life. Something still isn’t adding up.
By most measures, you’re doing well. The career, the competence, the track record, it’s real. You worked for it and you earned it.
But there’s a gap that’s gotten harder to ignore. Between how your life looks and how it actually feels. Between who you are in the world and who you are when no one’s watching. Between the version of yourself you’ve built and the sense that something essential hasn’t kept pace with it.
This isn’t a crisis. It’s something quieter and more persistent than that.
This is for you if:
- You’re successful by any reasonable definition, and that’s part of what makes this hard to name.
- You’ve hit a ceiling that has nothing to do with skill or effort.
- You’re at a point of transition, chosen or not, and you want to use it rather than just survive it.
- You’re ready to ask harder questions than the ones that got you here.
What we work on
This work sits at the intersection of depth therapy and existential inquiry. We’re not just troubleshooting symptoms, we’re asking bigger questions about identity, meaning, and the difference between a life that looks right and one that actually fits.
At the same time, this isn’t purely philosophical. We work with the patterns underneath the achievement, the drivers, the defenses, the things the striving has been protecting you from having to feel. The Enneagram is often particularly useful here, as a map of core motivations and the fears that quietly organize a high-achieving life.
The goal isn’t to dismantle what you’ve built. It’s to find out who you are inside of it, and whether that person has a say in what comes next.
The problem isn’t that you can’t communicate. It’s that you keep having the same conversation.
Most couples who come to therapy aren’t struggling because they don’t love each other or don’t try. They’re struggling because they’re caught in a dynamic that plays out the same way regardless of the topic, the same escalation, the same withdrawal, the same rupture, the same partial repair. The content changes. The pattern doesn’t.
That’s where this work starts.
This is for you if:
- You love each other but keep arriving at the same impasse.
- You’ve tried talking it through and it hasn’t changed the underlying dynamic.
- At least one of you is willing to look at your own role in the pattern honestly.
- You’re ready to look at your own nervous system responses, not just your partner’s.
- You want to understand what’s driving the conflict, not just learn to fight more politely.
What we work on
I work with both partners to understand their individual attachment patterns and how those interact, because most chronic couple conflict isn’t really about the argument in front of you. It’s about two nervous systems doing what they learned to do, colliding in real time.
Each person learns to recognize their own responses as they’re happening, and to become accountable for what they bring into the dynamic. When both partners can do that, the conversation changes completely.
If one of these feels familiar, we can start there.
A free 20-minute consultation is a place to begin naming what’s happening, what you want to change, and whether this work feels like the right fit.
Schedule a Free Consultation